Dealing With Commitment Phobia In Men

Published: 20th July 2010
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The Peculiarity



Fright of commitment among men is not very new. It had been there for centuries. Men were known for their reluctance to lose their privilege. And a sworn relation, like a marriage union, would always - at slightest in their knowledge - cut them off from that independence of being single.



Men are, characteristically, really self-governing. They enjoy to do and terminate things for themselves, and by themselves. Being united, for example, would put him in a condition where he lose his freedom to do whatever he likes the way he wishes. There is even an old anecdote concerning it: "It is said that the bride wears white coiffe because white represents tranquility and healthiness. If that's factual, then why does the groom always be dressed in dark colors?"



But, while fearful of commitment among men had been there for ages, it had never been an overserious complication until recently. Today, more and more men are found to have to an uneasiness to sworn tie to some stage, even to the order of phobia. Yes, more and more adult men are affected by afraid of committed relationships today! What are the prime mover of it? And how can we manage it?



The Mainspring



In today's living world, the causes of fear of commitment in men are no longer as clear as in a couple decades ago. While it's still and all admittedly right that the principal cause for fearful of commitment among men is their qualm to resign independence, in today's world the advancements that women have reached also act a great role.



Very many women now are financially much more freewheeling. And more and more functions, that were traditionally controlled by men now have been assumed to women.



For ages, men usually have the function as provider for his lineage. That position had presented them sentience of soundness. They knew that their origin (partner and kids) needed them. The belief of being needed helped him feel wanted.



The actual developments, added by the advancements in newscasting telecommunications that give ability to everyone of us to follow every talk and manners among celebrities with all their shocking stories, have degraded numerous men's pride and feeling of security. The info concerning issues on how so many women now can deceive their men easily and steal their money, as well as their own bad involvements with women in their lives make the idea of being committed for a lifetime relationship to single one partner is just too scary!



And that's not all. The ease trend now to fulfill their need for sex anytime they want also contributes greatly to their hesitancy to enter a monogamous relationship. There are more and more women now who are willing to do one night stand with a man they know nothing about. And also that "friend with benefit" way of life that is so common today makes so many more men think that a sworn relationship is just unreasonable.



What To Do



I imagine there's no such thing as a certain solution for this. If you are already in a affinity with a men with fright of commitment, then you have only two choices: either to dump him and save yourself from more upcoming upset and wretchedness, or to aid him to overcome his afraid of commitment . The second pick of course is not easy. It may weaken you mentally and emotionally. But the choice is yours to make. The key is, patience and long-suffering.



Frankly, I will not commend to keep your relationship with him unless you know reliably, with all you heart and deepest feeling, that he is "the one" for you, your soul mate. But, even if he is, I have to tell you: your endeavor to win him will be very hard. You may have to halt contacting him for a few weeks or even months (after having a heart-to-heart conversation around what you require from him in the kinship) to give him time and space to reflect and work out his problems. If he genuinely loves you, then he will arrive at a point where he realizes that the thing he fears the most is losing you, not committing to you.



And for you who have not been in interrelations hip, there are many signs of commitment-phobic men that you can use to detect whether a guy is a sufferer of commitment phobia or not. Preventing is constantly easier than curing. So, if you cognise that a guy suffers a commitment phobia , do yourself a favor: run! Unless... of course, you know deep within your heart that he is "the one and only one" created for you.


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